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Top Songs I Wish I Heard in More Bars (from Cover Bands or Jukeboxes or Otherwise) But Regrettably Didn’t in 2012

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Here’s a spin on a end-of-the-year list. I’m not going to make it a secret that in the past year of life my bar-hopping career has substantiated and flourished and I fashion myself a bar connoisseur now. Actually, once I graduate Occidental with my Comparative Literature degree, I plan to find a bar that will let me tend it. And eventually, I’d love to open my own place one day. So frown upon it as you will, but in keeping with my lofty aspirations, here is a list of songs I wish I heard playing more often in bars/pubs this year.

1. “Forgot About Dre” – Eminem and Dr. Dre. A classic. It makes me want to put down my glass and go line for line. Actually, anything by Eminem makes me want to do this.

2. “In My Head” – Queens of the Stone Age. This song makes me want to drive fast but also pull over to profess my love to pedestrians at the same time. It goes without saying that makes a great bar song.

3. “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” – The Proclaimers. Just because a few beers makes everyone’s Scottish accent better.

4. “Notorious Thugs” – Biggie and Bone Thugs N Harmony. This would be best played after everyone single person in the bar has had at least four drinks. Preferably, liquor based. Things would be sloppy, and raps could not be made without spitting slightly. There would be shirt-grabbing, finger pointing, and leaning into friends (or strangers) when important points needed to be made in the lyrics. It would let everyone’s true colors show. Prime bar-bonding.

5. “Guns and Cigarettes” – Atmosphere. My favorite band, and one of their most fun songs. This would be great karaoke in my book, if places did more rap karaoke.

6. “Torn” – Natalie Imbruglia. I wish this song played whenever I realized I was finished with my last drink of the night, and was wondering when it was socially acceptable to start putting my coat on. It’s that time when you’re watching your friends for cues on when you’re all going to be leaving. If this song played, I’d look at my empty glass and probably would weep with happiness. The world isn’t fair, but it’s been a beautiful night.

Happy New Year.


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